If you're not the one.
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You look so beautiful todayWhen you're sitting there it's hard for me to look away
So I try to find the words that I could say
I know distance doesn't matter but you feel so far away
And I can't lie
Every time I leave my heart turns gray
And I want to come back home to see your face
And I
Cause I just can't take it
In the end all I wanted you to do is stay here with me.
This hurts with every HeartBeat
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take me away
Wednesday, March 01, 2006, 9:45 PM
-i understand-
I feel relieved after the thrashing of words today. At least it wont be stored inside me causing me to be overloaded. The anger in me was so overwhelming i just cant control myself from scolding those *toot *toot words. I wasn't being myself so please forgive me. At sometime i wanted to tear and jus cry it all out but i had to control myelf. Its not that they hadn't see me cry its just i dun want to be in my weak and emotional self like wad i was in the past.I hope boy is feeling ok. He did have something to tell me but i think he hesitated. I know wad it is about now. I really hope that you can tell me about it like i told u about my problems and shared with you my sadness. I may not know how to console a person but i have a listening ear. I was prepared for the worst when he said he had something to tell me. Part of me was afraid, afraid that it would be like the last time the person tt told me something and made me shatter. I put on a brave front when my friends were around but broke down when i was alone. There are times i told myself not to cry, all i needed was time.
Time did really help me , this time no matter how hard it is i will hold on unless he is the one tt lets me go and not want me anymore. I would try my best to balance up both sides friendship and love.
i fell 3 times in my past,
it hurt.
no-one was there to pick me up,
only traces of tears and blood.
now its back to square 1,
i fell into it once more.
i hoped for nothing more,
jus for 1 to be at my side.
I know its hard sometimes,
and i shed tears.
i am not going to give up,
unless i am being discarded
like a life of a old rag doll...
being my weak self once more
at 10.30pm